In the end, she was as helpless as a butterfly on the point of a pin...

Wow, wasnt today the most interesting day of my life. Slept until approx. 1:30 this afternoon. God I swear sleeping all day makes your weekend shorter, and gives you a headache(might I add).

And Im not sure but I think I may be enjoying codine a little more than I should be. Took three because I had a headache this afternoon, then when I was at Tim Hortons this evening with Chelsea, Naomi, and Jenn I took another three. Not sure why I took those other three though. It was almost compulsive.

I really have to go pee, but Im way to lazy to go all the way up the stairs right now. I feel more compelled to write in my blog. Is that a bad thing?

Ive just finished talking with Damian and Paul on the unloved chat. Paul had to go in the middle of it though, very dissapointing. Then I felt bad when I told Damian I had to go as well because its after 12am. He teased me for going to bed at 12. Guess Im known for going to bed late and sleeping the day away.

You know I really could become used to sleeping all day and being up all night. But eventualy it would get boring because hardly anyone has that sort of lifestyle. I wouldnt be able to find anyone to do anything with. And spending time alone in the woods, or on the computer all night every night just wouldnt be fun after awhile. Oh well, whats one to do.

I was re-reading some stories at doublemoon today. Its the site that started me writing erotic short stories. I think back now and cant believe that I read every one of the stories on that site in less than a week. I think this must have been either last year or the year before that... Oh well the point is I think I must have been addicted to it. And now that I re-look and re-read over some of the stuff, I can see why. It sort of gets my flair for writing back. Plus its a real turn-on.

It upsets me that I feel guilty for a lot of things. I was just reading Pauls blog, and he listed a few things that upsets him. When I think about it, there are quite a few things that I feel guilty for, and most of them are things I do all the time. Most of my guilt is directed at my Mum. I feel guilty for staying up late when she told me to go to bed at an earlier time. I feel guilty when I lie to her, or stretch the truth a little. I feel guilty when I do something that I used to have to ask her to do, but now dont. I feel guilty when I want to go out and hang with my friends. I feel guilty when I need to be driven somewhere, because I dont have my own car...etc. I mean I could go on forever here. Plus there are still other people I feel guilt because of. Is it normal to feel so much guilt because of one person? Who knows.

Im frustrated because of the dossage of pills Im on. Ive never had to take anything so high of a dose. Whats 75 plus 37.5? Whatever it is thats what dossage of effexor Im on, and even though it makes my moods much better, and my thinking so much more positive... it still upsets me that it takes so much just to make be this much better.

Im staring at the 12 bagels and 43 timbits, (because Chelsea ate 2 of them), that are sitting on my floor not far from arms reach. Im so hungry... But I bought them at Tim Hortons so I can have something to feed my class tomorrow for our group project we are doing in Philosophy class. We have to hold a discussion coffee house and talk about Laissez-Faire philosophy. I mean who really cares about that philosophy? Its so damned confusing. None of our group members understands it completely. How are we supposed to discuss something we know hardly anything about? We're going to just throw some discussion topics at everyone and ask them what they think about Laissez-Faire. And I guess whether or not they understand it completely, or what they do understand at least.

I think Im supposed to be tired right now, considering its already tomorrow... But Im not, Im actualy really jittery, and still have to pee. And Im only wearing half of my pjs, Im still in the process of changing into them, and Ive been going since I started writing... Oh man thats sad. Shows you how damn lazy I am. Oh well, who cares. As long as you dont and I dont, then thats all that matters, right?

Im frustrated right now because Im so horny and have no one here to help me do something about it. I havent had anyone to help me do something about it for a long time now. I hate sexual frustration. Some people dont mind being alone during masterbation or any other type of sexual pleasure, but I enjoy at least someone watching. I cant wait until Paul comes down...

Well, I should be signing off now, must come up with a few discussion topics and possibly start reading about the philosopher I have to learn all about by January.

Yours Truly