Why would you make it easier for me to satisfy, I'm on fire

Currently Listening To:Sex Pistols- My Way


I should update you on my birthday, which went swell, other than my friends leaving me on Thursday night. Brandons the only friend who came with us. Brynn, Chelsea and Kyle were supposed to come with my family for supper, and we were going to go to Casey's, cause I get free dinner on my birthday. We waited around until probably 6 o'clock for them, but I couldn't find them anywhere, only to go to Chelsea's house asking for them, to find that they had walked to the mall. I still don't get it. I guess it just wasn't very important. We had a good time anyways.

Casey's was too busy as it was, we waited there for awhile, but in the end I decided that we should just drive over to East Side Marios. It was pretty busy at East Sides as well, but we ended up finding some seats up by the bar. The food was great, it always is there, it's one of my favourite restaurants. I love Italian foods. After our meal was done, the waiters all came over and made me stand up on my bar stool so they could sing their rendition of happy birthday. It was great. And the piece of cake they brought out for me had oreo cookies on it, so I couldn't help thinking about Paul. It would have been cool for him to be there too. But living so far away poses a slight problem.

Before we went to the restaurant, thought, I opened my birthday gift from Mom. I got the leather jacket from Rickies that I wanted to buy so badly when we were winter jacket shopping before Christmas. It's too bad it wasn't a surprise like everyone thought it was going to be, considering Matt gave it away. Silly kid. Oh well, I always end up finding out about my presents at Christmas or my birthday somehow. I think the only big present that was ever a real surprise was this computer I got a few years back.

Anyways, then on Friday it turned out to be a snow day, happy birthday to Mandy! So I got to sleep in. That evening Kelly, Brandon and Nathan came over after I was finished work. It was a cool surprise get together. I was really disappointed in Chelsea for not coming though. Brynn and Kyle were supposed to come again too, but they told Kelly they were grounded. (Only for me to find out today from Kelly and The Unloved, that Chelsea, Brynn and Kyle all went downtown instead of come to my place). Did I do something wrong?

Kelly, Brandon, Nathan, Matthew and Mom all pitched in for my birthday present, which was the boots from Doc Martins that I wanted oh-so-badly! Every time I walked past the Doc store I basically creamed my pants while staring at them. And now I own them! I wish that had been a surprise too. Kelly told me she knew I knew, because I didn't act as surprised as I should have. Well that could be because when I was putting my new jacket on the night before, Daniel came running out with the Doc Martin box in his hand. So I pretended not to notice, completely fooling Mom into believing I didn't know. I don't like disappointing people. I like them to know they surprised me. I like to see the look on their faces.

Kelly, Nathan and Brandon ended up sleeping over. Poor Nathan though had a little fit over not being able to sleep in the same bed as Kelly. Apparently our pull out couch is really uncomfortable according to him (It really is). So he had a hissy and went upstairs and slept on the very comfortable couch in the living room instead. Brandon slept with me in my bed, and kelly slept on the mattress in the middle of my floor.

We stayed up so late that night though. We watched movies upstairs until probably about 2:30 or so, and then went downstairs and set the alarm for 4am when Brandon got home from work, went upstairs and waited for him. He still wasn't here at like half past four, so Kelly and Nathan set out to his house to find him, and ended up meeting him on their way back to my house after not finding his car at his house. Apparently he had driven someone home after work. That's cool, but we were kinda waiting for him! *shakes fist* When Brandon came back we watched the last movie I had rented, The Diary Of Ellen Rimbower, or however its spelt. It was pretty good. The prequal to Rose Red, by Steven King. So we didn't end up going to bed until 7am, only to be waken up two hours later by the kids running around upstairs. (Except Brandon and I ended up waking Kelly up because apparently our kissing was too loud. She described it as wet noises. Lol. I felt bad. She didnt want to make it obvious that we had woken her up, so she sort of stirred around and then stretched, giving us a clue. Oopsy?).

And now for yesterdays wonderfully depressing news. My Mom officially has lost all trust in me, and feels used by everyone in our family. Isn't that pleasant. On Friday night when everyone was over, I poured a shot of Whiskey into each mine and Kelly's drinks of Coke, and she saw, I hadn't asked, and it was her alcohol. I was obviously going to tell her that I had done it, but she was disappointed because I hadn't asked her first. Guess I should have, but I figured she wouldn't have minded. I was assuming again. Suppose I do that too often.

As for losing trust in me. That is again my fault. One Sunday night, when I was full aware there was school the next morning, I stayed at Brandons house until one in the morning. I had Brandon drive me home, and explained to my parents that we had fallen asleep. That wasn't quite what happened. I just didn't feel like going home. I didn't really have a reason, other than I wasn't looking forward to coming home that night, so I pro-longed the stay for as long as I possibly could before I guessed my parents would call the police. When I got home Dad informed me that he had just phoned Brandons house and got no answer. Its a good thing he hadn't woken up Brandons parents, they wouldn't have been too happy about that. Along with this story, because it does have a point, on Friday night Mom confronted Brandon about this. (Which I am not sure why, considering it was like 3 weeks ago, but apparently she still cared about the stupid incident). And even though I told Brandon not to say anything, he told mom that he had mentioned I should go home, after I told him I didn't have a curfew and not to worry about. That's completely true, but that just set my Mom off. Obviously I know not to do that sort of stuff around Brandon anymore.

So, again adding to Moms list of badness, on Saturday night, Kelly and Brandon were joking around with Mom and mentioned something that had to do with people (mainly Brandon) sneaking into my window at night. Now first of all this has never happened before, and I don't ever plan on it happening. But for some odd reason Mom took them seriously and believed what they said to be completely true. I have no idea why she would do this, when, according to Brandon and Kelly, it was made plainly obvious that they were joking and even laughing about it. (Oh and to clear something up, I was asleep at this time, and had fallen asleep at nine that evening, with Brandon showing up at eleven, so I wasn't there for this). When I informed Mom they were plainly joking she still didn't believe me, and said that they had gone with them joking because I had confronted them about it, because they had been serious in the first place. It got me so mad! So mad that I wrote both Brandon and Kelly an email explaining my anger and frustration at the whole situation of the sneaking in my bedroom window, the alcohol and the Sunday night at Brandons. I guess I had just had it. Now I'm not one to show my anger in any way, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

It felt really good writing the email. But not 5 minutes later Brandon phoned me to let me know it had all been a joke etc. And to tell me he was sorry. I softened at that point and wrote them both back an email apologizing for making it look like I was more angry than I really was etc. I truly did feel bad, but I was still angry, no matter what I said in the second letter.

Kelly phoned me last night and wanted to speak to Mom, who wasn't speaking to me, and still isn't. She was not pleased with Kelly phoning, I could definitely tell. She told Kelly that it was fine. But I know that to her it wasn't. Its hard for her, and its the same with me, to admit when she is wrong. I guess its the whole perfectionist thing again. I also think its a hereditary gene or something.

As for today, I didn't go to school this morning for a lot of different reasons. First of all it started with my having a headache, but I put an ice pack on my head and fell back to sleep. By later on it got to the point where I just didn't feel like getting out of bed, I was too damn stressed, depressed, sick and tired of everything. So I officially didn't get out of my bed after that until probably 4:30 this afternoon. Only because Mom sent Daniel downstairs to let me know I had to babysit them. The only thing she's said to me all day was make sure I don't take my eyes off of them, and then closed the door the front door on her way to work. It made me feel so good!...

Brandon came over at about six or so, and stayed with the kids and me and we watched And Now For Something Completely Different-Monty Python, and Me, Myself and Irene. At eight I put the kids to bed and after the movies were over I played Scoobie Doo on the playstation. Brandon had never seen it before, so I put it on. It only made me frustrated cause I had forgotten I was at a point where I was stuck and cant go any farther. I'm only 47% done the damn game. Its supposed to be a kids movie, but it really isn't.

Anyways, it is morning now, and I should be sleeping. But I know I'm only going to end up going and reading until I fall asleep. Goodnight my faithful readers. Sweet dreams to you all.