I think this is one of those points in ones life where they can officialy say they are having a breakdown. Im pretty sure that when your cat dies in your arms, you deserve it. Im sorry to tell everyone this, but Whiskers passed away at about 6pm this evening. I know its been two weeks of painful waiting and stressful days and nights, but I suppose thats over now, sort of. I guess its not really supposed to be me appologizing for Whiskers' death, but I feel bad to tell you this blogger my friend. Its because I know you care. You are there when I need to write, and even the Unloved isnt a good place for me to do that now. I feel awkward doing it there now. I really need to be hospitalized or something. I have an essay thats supposed to be due tomorrow, but Im sure if I explain my cercumstances on what happened tonight to my student teacher she'll just tell me I dont have to write it. I hope anyways. She did already know that Whiskers was dying and that it was really hard on me. I havent been able to stop crying now everytime I think about him. As far as I am concerned if your loved one is going to die and you know it, it had better be in your arms, and so thats how it went. After he had died his body was still spasming. It was so aweful. It made me think that maybe, just maybe there was a chance that he was still alive. But I know thats not true. It was just his nerves. I dont know if I can right anymore. Its making me sick to think about everything and I just need to sleep for a few years straight. Or even admit myself so I can have some much needed and deserved stress free time. Im so glad that school is done this week and Paul is coming down soon. I need some time away from myself I think. Ill tell you more about what happened tonight tomorrow if and when I blog, dear blogger. I love you and I missed you.