Remember the time we made love in the roses?

Currently Listening To: Bif Naked- Lucky


'Where can I run to, where can I hide, now that I'm in my virgin state of mind?'

Totally not fair to everyone including me. It's been forever since I've been able to update my blog, today is basically the first time I have had the urge to come on here and post. I know thats sad, but I guess with me there are just times when I don't feel up to doing anything. It's when my depression hits a nice low, and all I feel like doing is reading or sleeping. I haven't even really done that much homework. I think it kind of shows in my politics mark, at a 42% which is really sad, when the mid term mark is what the Universities will see on top of last semesters last mark. I really should take my pills more consistantly.

My memory has finally hit a brand new low. I've gotten to the point where I have to finish my promise sentences with "if I remember." It makes me so sad, angry and frustrated beyond belief. I don't think that memory loss is one of the side effects with my pills, so other than it being a symptom of depression, I've got nothing.

'Now there's a chair where my wonderful mouth used to be.'

On the bright side I'v just finished a denim bustier top I've been working on. I bought the fabric on wednesday night, started working on it last night around this time and then finished it tonight. I used red for the stitching and a criss cross setting, it's dark stretch denim, does up with a metal zipper at the back and fits like a glove. If only I could find my digi camera, that way I could get someone to take a picture of me in it and post it up here. But alas, the damn thing is lost still. (and I can say that it wasn't myself that lost it, I swear it was Mom! It was on her dresser afterall!)

Well turns out instead of going to TLB to get our tattoo's and piercings, Brandon and I are going to Odyssey in Ajax. Odyssey is a spiritual store that sells gem stones, jewelery, books, candles, tarot cards, incense, pendants, and little knick knack things. It's basically a store for Wiccans. Brandon has never been and I think he'll really like it. He used to read about Witchcraft a lot when he was in high school, so I think he'll enjoy himself for the most part. Maybe I'll get a tarot deck, if one calls to me, and learn to use it. Who knows?

Speaking of the Odyssey, next Friday coming is our monthly full moon meditation meeting. Kelly's going to come with Andy, Mom and I. It's a circle of all different ages of ladies, and as far as I know Andy, Mom, Kelly and I are the only ones not from Ajax or closer surrounding areas that goes. When we first went I felt a little off to the side, sort of not included, but when everyone began talking it made me feel more comfortable. I like how the leader of the group even lights the candles North, East, South, West and opens a circle, including all of us into it. It gives it more of a connection with myself and everyone else sitting in the room. I think its worth the few dollars that it costs to join.

I finished reading the seventh book in the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind and I'm just dying to read the eighth book! I know its probably sitting in the bookstore at the mall just waiting for me to pick it up and read it, but I haven't had the time to get there. I don't have my own car, nor a drivers license to drive myself there, so I have to rely on either of my parents, who are always either working, or not feeling like driving me everywhere. Hey, its not like I ask them to drive me somewhere all the damn time, right? Oh well, for now I'll just have to settle with whistfully thinking about it being there and calling to me. (Okay, so I'm really sad, but these books are so mesmerizing that I feel like I live inside the storyline and one of the characters!) I suggest reading them as soon as you can. Thank you so much Mike for introducing me to them. I know for awhile there they were a part of my life, but I've stopped the whole obsessing thing, and now I read when I can, rather than feeling as if I stop the world is going to come to an end.

Speaking of reading books, we're reading a whole shit load of books this year in all of my classes. Well all except politics. Currently the book we're begining to read in Religion is Tuesdays with Morrie. It is so goddamn sad and I'm only say twenty pages in. I won't give away the plot line, but it's about a sociology professor at University who finds out he has ALS. For example he introduces himself in front of his new semesters class and says that he has a terminal illness and he would like everyone to know that there might be a chance he won't get to finish teaching the course, where he then smiles and sits down. So full of powerful emotion. My kind of book (when I'm not reading fantasy that is).

I watched a french movie on Sunday night, I have no idea what it was called, because by the end I had such a bad migraine that after it finished I wasn't even thinking properly enough to check the guide before I went to bed with four acetamitophen with codine and an ice pack. (I don't think I'll be taking that one extra pill again for a long time, because for three hours after that my body couldn't stop convulsing and I was having hallucinations, and weird thoughts. Bad) Anyways back to the movie business. It was one of the best serial killers movies I've ever watched, it kept me guessing who the killer was for a longer length of time than most other movies do, the sub plot lines were just as good, and tied into the story line perfectly. I'd had to say that if the movie wasn't in french with sub-titles it would be my favourite movie of all time. Go see it now!

'The way you laugh, have you got a name for it, cause I don't understand, it. Language is an annoying necessity, and I depend on all the things. Got a list tattooed on my memory, of how all the tricks should unfold.'