Humanitarianism shmanitarianism

Currently Listening To: GNR- Live And Let Die

Third week of University has gone by, and fast. I'm enjoying all of my classes, and not having trouble so far. I've already written one paper for my History class. I felt so good after I had finished writing it, like a weight off of my chest. And darnit I think I did awesome on it too. I had to write about the general reasons in the decline of witchcraft.

I'm so tired right now, and I feel so fat. I've gained a lot of weight since I've moved away from home. Most people lost weight, but I guess because I had nothing else to do except eat, read and go on my computer, during that first month before school... I've just gotten fatter. It's embarassing because I'm not ever used to being over at the most 120 pounds, and now most of my pants don't fit, and when I wear my tighter t shirts I feel like everyones staring at my stomach which hangs over my pants. I'm going to defninitely stop eating as much as I have been, and drink more damn water. Maybe I can bring my weight back down.

I'm feeling more organized with my school work. I'm not using my five subject work book anymore, instead I'm using a good old fashioned binder. Kelly and I went out and bought a three hole punch, just like the ones at school, and a stapler for more than just a few pieces of paper. It's so handy. Now I'm able to put all my hand outs and print offs into the binder rather than just sliding them into the deviders. God I'm such a geek.

I've started taking vitamins. I think maybe it will help with my overall energy problem, and my lack of motivation thing going on. I wasn't able to get home in time today to call the doctor and have an appointment set up, as well as my pills renewd, which I really need. I haven't had any pills since the end of July, just before I moved to Peterborough. I can tell the difference in my mood, my movitvation, and my overall happiness. I should never have stopped taking them. It always sends me into another depressional state. I suggest to everyone out there who thinks that they're just going to go off of their pills and see if they have gotten better, to not do it without talking to their doctor first. Especially people who have suicidal tendencies, because you think you may be better, but as soon as the chemicals in your brain imbalance themselves because of the lack of medication you can tell the difference in maintaining a healthy state of mind. Please trust me on this one.

I'm so glad I don't have to get up early tomorrow. I'm not gettig up at like 6:30 or whatever it was when I lived in Cobourg, but it feels early. 7am or 8am, depending on the day, is my usual time to get up now. But it still doesn't feel like I'm getting enough sleep, even when I go to bed around 12am -1am. Normally the regular person needs about 8 hours of sleep, but apparently I've always needed more. I hate it because it cuts back on the amount of things I can do in a day, everything has to be shortened and my schedule smaller. *shrugs* Thus is the life of Mandy.

I feel like all I've been doing is complaining, but I guess this is a journal, and you're supposed to write about your feelings and what you've been doing in the past little while. But I feel like I should be writing something deep and meaningful. I guess I could talk about what we talked about in Philosophy seminar today; morality and humanity according to Mill. But I feel too blah. Maybe I'll finish my post from five days ago another time and post it. When I feel like it, that is.

Oh and I'm reading an amazing book right now called The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. If you haven't read it you need to. I'm not sure if I talked about this in my previous post, or in any of my comments, so I'm just going to mention it again. Have you seen The League of Extrordinary Gentlemen? Thats likely where you would have heard the name Dorian Gray before now. He was the one whom if he looked at the painting of himself he would cease to be immortal anymore and would change places with the painting, thus he would die, and eventually does in the movie. Well, this book explains how this blessing(or curse) came upon him. And I'm not finished reading halfway through it yet, but apparently he gets to stay young forever just by wishing hard enough on a painting that his friend paints for him. I'm not sure how that works, or how that would make a plot for a story, but so far its neat. Anyways, read it for yourself and you'll see what I mean.

I want to pull out my hair. Ever since Steve downloaded country music to my computer, and Kelly asked me to burn a cd for her with the songs on it, thats all I've been listening to. We have my cd player set up in the living room, so we can listen to music all through the apartment, rather than in just one of our bedrooms, and country has been playing more than anything else. So just before I wrote this I burned another cd with some soft music on it, like collective soul and some moist, and put that one, except it still didnt stop the country music coming from Kellys room. *cries*

Anyways, all that set asside, Im sure I could go on and on about random things that arent exactly intersting to anyone, not even myself, but I wont. I'll leave things at this.