This happiness is killing me

Currently Listening To: HIM-Right Here In My Arms

So today I took the bus to Trent for the first time. I tried clocking it to see how long it would take, for future reference, and I think it's roughly a little over an hour. First I have to take the bus outside of my house to the terminal, and then the Trent bus to the school. It really sucks butt that it's going to take me that long to get to school everyday.

I got my schedule for next week, only 14 hours of classes;
No school on monday.
Tuesday I have Anthropology at 12-2pm. Then Anthropology lab for an hour starting at 2pm.
Wednesday I have History at 9am for an hour. Then History seminar at 2pm for another hour. Then at 7pm I have a philosophy lecture for an hour.
Thursday I start the day off with Cultural Studies at 9am until 12pm. Hurray for three hour lectures. Then at 1pm I have a philosophy seminar for an hour, and right after that at 2pm I have a history lecture for another hour. Then at 8pm that night I have a cultural studies seminar. Busy day!
Friday is my Psychology lecture at noon until 2pm.

Shit the man thats a pretty good schedule. I just dont like the fact that I have to get up early two days in a row. But I do like that I don't have any classes on Monday. And only 14 hours of class time all together really makes me happy. Much MUCH better than highschool. ^-^

Anyways, I've been pretty busy socializing with Steve, Ed and Tim. We've been having a pretty good time. But we do need to get out more often. Mostly we just hang around the house. I found out that Ed, Steve and Tim are interested in me, and on top of that, so is Adam. I'm not sure what to do with myself! But obviously Im not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. Steve phoned me last night after he left and said that if I ever want to hang out to give him a call. I said alright, but I know its not going to go any farther than just hanging out. It would just make things really complicated to go out with one of the guys in the group. I think Kelly is pretty interested in Tim, and she should really persue that. He's one the nice kind of guys, red hair and freckles. Pretty cute.

It was Dad's birthday on Sunday and the entire family came over, including Grandma and Grandad, but excluding Matthew because he had to work. I made a cherry chip cake with vanilla icing. It was pretty darn good, but a little over cooked. It was my first time baking with this oven, so I know now just to be more careful. ^-^ We went out to Red Lobster for dinner and it was really good. Everyone had a great time, we were laughing and being kind of rowdy, it was awesome. I must say though, Grandad was the loudest out of us all. Hah!

We went to Flemming Rez that night and hung out with Kelly's Tim and his friends. His friend Ryan is really cute. Overall that was good fun too, and Kelly wanted to see if tonight I wanted to go again. She had her first day of school today, and has no idea what time she's supposed to be back at. I got home around 1pm, but it seemed like a much longer day than it was! I didnt leave the house until about 10am to catch the bus, either. Oh and I met up with Amanda Trebnor at the bus stop outside of Trent, she was on her way home, as was I. She gave me her number, which I really should put in my phone book before I lose or forget it. I do that quite often. OH! And when I was at the book store on campus I met a second year student who took cultural studies and history 150 who's willing to give me his books at half price, so I gave him my number BUT because I wasnt thinking right I gave him the last number of the first three digits wrong. I put a 2 instead of a 3. I just really hope he tries a few of the different combos before he gives up, because I didnt get his number or his name, and so I can appologize to him if and when he does phone!

Well, I think thats it in Mandy land for now. Ciao!

I will never forsake you

Currently Listening To: Evanescence- Lies
So Kelly comes home tomorrow and thats the most exciting thing thats happened in forever. We're gonna go and pick her up. Oh and her Dad came by today to put up the blinds, bring her tv, and I think thats all he did!

Day After Tomorrow

I'm currently nervous and excited; I just applied to be a gothic model online. I sent in some pictures of myself, filled out their form, and now I await their email back to me. I think I might send emails to a bunch of different places, maybe one of them will reply with something good to say! Anyways, just updating you on the latest news in Mandy land.

Stay tuned for more updates.


EDIT: I thought I'd take some pictures of Angel for you guys, Kellys kitty. But uhm, she isnt as easy to get pictures of as I thought. She's such a bitch, pardon my french, but goddamn is it true. And now I'm sneezing my brains out cause she has long hair and not short hair like Malcolm does. Anyways, after I took the two pictures I could she got really pissed and started hissing, scratching, growling and meowing at me, hid under my bed and really pissed me off. So I chased her around the apartment until I had all the doors closed so she went straight back to Kelly's room. What a friggen ordeal. But I got the pictures, and here ya go:

Requim For A Dream

Currently Listening To: Fuel-Innocent(Piano Acoustic)

So the other morning I was talking with Adam and Steve, and none of us could sleep. Adam was talking to his landlady and she said that she wasn't able to sleep a wink either. (Mind you this wasn't the night I wrote about it the last entry, this was... Saturday night I thinks? Yes, Saturday night). So I just realized why now... The full moon. I'm going to phone Adam and Steve and tell them to tell Charlene this because it's really funny and ironic.

Oh and I have to tell you about Ed's blue and red card theory. I also kind of added to it and made up a purple card, for feelings somewhere inbetween. (Don't worry, you'll get it soon).
Okay, so Ed says thay everyone should carry around a blue card and a red card. Blue card meaning they are single or intersted, red card meaning the opposite. He says it would make meeting people easier. So all the while in my head I'm wondering where this is leading to, right? Weeell... He turns to me and asks, "So what do you think of Adam, Steve and I? Are we red or blue?" At this point I started laughing. It was great fun, but I knew it was coming. I said that Adam is a red card because I know him and he's not my type, plus hes a friend. As for my answer for Ed and Steve, let's just say I did a nice cop-out and said that I didn't want to hurt either of their feelings and left it at that. So Ed says that that would make them green cards? And I said no, purple cards, as blue and red make purple. Retarded I know, but makes sense right? He deducted from that that because I didnt want to hurt anyones feelings, and Steve wasn't there it was just him and I, that I liked Steve better and it was Ed's feelings I didnt want to hurt. (Little does he know that it's him I like better). Of course I totally denied this and said that I didnt want to choose because choosing would mean that I had come to some sort of conclusion about them, when I didnt know them long enough to make any kind of conclusions. Anyways, to make a long story short, he was hitting on me and I dont think Adam liked it all that much when I told Adam and Steve the story. I know Adam has a thing for me, and I hope that my friendship stance with him can stay that way in his mind, because there isn't going to be anything more between us.

Oh I watched the coolest movie ever; Boondock Saints. Damn it was super wicked. Of course, it would have been better if it hadnt skipped every ten seconds or less. You can ask Adam, I'm not lying, that's how shitty his DVD player is. Its some random brand called Norcet or something. Anyways, he didn't watch the movie cause he fell asleep, but I did, barely because of the skipping, but I could still follow it for the most part. I think thats another movie to add to my list of movies I need to buy. Has anyone else seen it? Did you like it? Oh speaking of movies, I was thinking about Snatch yesterday. I have to own that too, as well as Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels(if thats what its called, Im kinda drawing a bit of a fuzzy blank right now). Apparently Snatch is the sequel to Lock Stock, which I haven't seen yet. And goddamn was Mister Brad Pitt good in that movie. Of course him and Johnny Depp are good in any movie, but he was extra good in this one because of his fast Irish talk. You might be asking yourself where I got Johnny Depp out of all of this? Well, because when I think about amazing actors, his is the first name that pops up and my fingers just wanted to type his name. It couldnt be because he's gorgeous or anything, nope.

Well, Im going to go pee now, as I've had to go for a few minutes now, but I didnt want to stop typing and downloading new music :D

The Witches Magical Handbook

Currently Listening To: The sound of the cars on the street. Goddamn their loud when you have a headache.

So did anyone else notice the extreme rains yesterday? Wasnt it wonderful? The thunder was exquisite. I miss listening to it on my metal roof at home, but I'm sure my mom loved it. I slept through most of it, until at least 12 in the afternoon... But since I haven't slept since then I think that that was fair.

So starting off on the that note, I had a rough night last night and literally didn't sleep a wink since I woke up yesterday. I haven't had this bad of a problem with sleeping for a very long time, and haven't pulled an all nighter and then not slept the next afternoon... ever I think. So today is a first. Not to mention at quater after seven this morning Tina phoned like she said she would to let me know that they would be arriving within the hour. I hadn't even realized it was morning until I turned over, put my book down, and looked at the sun trying to peak through my half assed curtain job with a black blanket.

Tina and Ed brought Kellys bed, her books, a dresser and a book shelf for her, as well as Angel, the kitty. Tina set everything up, but Im sure some of the stuff like the knick knacks and shit will be moved around by kelly. She finally has a room she can do whatever she wants with, and not have to worry about anyone touching or changing shit one her later on. She can't wait to come home on Wednesday.

Her parents said they were either going to pick her up this weekend or a few days early or something, or I dont know what. The day that camps ends and she can be picked up is this coming Wednesday. She called crying to Mom, so Mom offered to pick her up. I feel bad for her. I think Nathan's coming too. And Kelly told me about a store that sells belly button rings for only a dollar ninety-nine. Pretty damn good, and even if they arent sergical silver, at least they have plastic balls which I can interchange and just wear the dollar ninety-nine ones for the one night, etc. Anyway, she's really looking forawrd to coming home, and I really don't blame her. I think this summer, for her, has been a long one. I know it's gone by pretty quick for me, it feels like I didn't get a summer because of the online course. But I think Im managing.

So does anyone else notice that they feel sick to their stomach, have a headache and pain behind their eyes, oh and everything kinda moves in slow motion, when they haven't slept at all? Its just a question to make myself feel like everything Im experiencing is because of the no sleep and isn't from something else. You can blame the slight hypochondria for that.

Well, thats all folks. I can't think of anything to write about now. Im all drained and maybe I can set my alarm for an hour or two... I'm definitely going to bed at a decent time tonight, whether I wanted to or not. Which of course I did. But I'm just saying is all.

She's crazy like a fool

Currently Listening To: Placebo-Black Eyed
Well, because it's been so long, I will write about what I did last weekend.
Nathan came over for the weekend, it was definitely a good idea for him to get away from his house. He's been having a bit of trouble lately in the girl area.

I was frustrated about something... What would you do if you found out that a friend of yours was pregnant, and her Mom had given her an ultimatum: Either she have an abortion or she has to live somewhere else? Doesn't that just sicken you? Something like an abortion is such a big deal/step in life, and to have someone else force you to choose when, I'm sure, you're having a hard enough time with the fact that you are pregnant in the first place! I just cant over that... Ive been thinking about that and it bothers me so much.

And something always creeps into my mind that a friend told me. She said that her grandmother had told her that because she wasn't christian she had nothing to live for. Can you believe it? Isn't that disgusting? At our age we're having enough trouble trying to figure out where we belong in society and the only places we can turn to are our family and our close friends. And to have one of our family memebers tell us that we don't have anything to live for starts setting off alarms in the back of your head. Alarms such as: "If you don't have anything to live for, then why don't you just kill yourself?" or "If I have nothing to live for, then why am I bothering to stay here?" or even things like "I might as well stay a Christian even if I dont believe in it, just to keep my family happy." Goddamn it upsets me the way people manipulate others, and use the fact that they are family or close friends to make the person become who they want them to be. How are we supposed to grow and become individuals if there are people out there like my friends grandmother who press religion and beliefs on us? How are we supposed to be able to have an open mind and learn everything we can about stuff before we begin to judge? People like that make it impossible! And it angers me. Oh yes it does.

Sigh.

Oh guess what else I did on the weekend? Nathan and I went to futureshop and were looking through the DVD's and I found the first season of Buffy. Oh was I excited. Ive already watched the first disk, and there are only three. So far I've laughed my head of, giggled, been moved, and appalled. I can even remember watching some of these from when I was little! Can you believe its been that long since Buffy first started? 1996! And now, to think, it's over for good *sniff* Im not going to lie to you, I cried during the last few episodes of Buffy, and Angel. Man I'm gonna miss them. *Le Sigh*

Poor Kermi

Currently Listening To: A Perfect Circle- Wake The Dead
Poor Kermi, he's so ashamed.

They're singing my name up there

Currently Listening To:Frank Zappa- Titties and Beer
So I went with Steve and Adam to the Galaxy tonight and we saw Exorcist: The Beginning. WOW! It was really good. Nothing is better than the origional, but I must say this comes really close. And at parts, I was actually grossed out and spooked. A must see, for sure. If you watched the first one and wondered where in the world it started from then this movies for you. It totally makes sense now. Absolutely wonderful. Ahhh... :)

x meets y from hell on acid

Currently Listening To: A Perfect Cirlce(Live)-Ashes to Ashes

Lord knows, it's been done before, but this little dictionary of literary "reviewese" is pretty funny.

You could compile a similar list for music "reviewese," of course, and there would be many overlapping terms. They even tend to drop some of the same gratuitous names. The main difference: music reviewers will by and large refer to "your ass" more frequently than book reviewers. Otherwise, it's basically mad lib city.

My favorite one from the article: "(the) name of that young German corporal was Adolf Hitler."

What your mother would cringe at if she ever saw it.

Currently Listening To: Deep Purple-Child In Time
So, I did the best thing you could ever do with a permanent marker...Muwahahaha....Ahem....
So I had this spice girls mouse pad, and I had to use it because I had no other... sooo earlier on tonight I decided that it needed some spicing up(pun intended). I grabbed my handy dandy(notebook?) permanent marker and went at her. This is the result of my madness... And now when I use it I can giggle, rather than run screaming.






And the final product:

Millennium

I checked it out just a few minutes ago, and my wonderful bio is up and running on Intuitive Music! Heres the link if you wanna check it out: Mandy's Bio

Other than that I've found out that I cannot for the life of me make panckes. I mean they didnt taste all that bad with syrup on them, but over all, they were not real looking pancakes. Kind of hard to explain really. I guess I just lack the "art" of pancake making. But thats what I had for supper tonight! OH and I got some laundry done. I love the feeling of washing my comforter and curling up in it that night when its still smells fresh. Mmm Mmm good.

There's no one here to talk to, and the pain inside is makin' me numb

Currently Listening To: 3 Doors Down- Changes

So the wonderful Naomi at Intuitive Music.com invited me to be a part of their staff, because I am such an active member in their Club Extravagance community. Hey what can I say? I love the place. The people there are so welcoming and whenever I post a picture I get a positive comment(Well, unless RealBitch is posting, but she hates everyone so it doesnt matter). Naomi and Koldo asked that I be a part of their Public Relations staff, make everyone aware of their site and invite new and upcoming artists to the site. So I'm going to post the links here as some advertising, and see what kind of response that gives us! You should check out my bio and the community, you'll see a lot of rockin' people. However I do recommend that you are over 18, as some of the stuff you may see is not suitable for anyone else.

http://www.intuitivemusic.com/index.php
http://www.intuitivemusic.com/extravagance/

Thats right, Im yelling at you, what are you gonna do about it?

Currently Listening To: Apocalyptica-Path

It feels like I've been buried under the weight of the world

Currently Listening To:Anathema -ReConnect
Yesterday my entire family went to see Kelly in Haliburton. Don't believe me? It took two cars! Mom, Dad, Matthew, Kyle, Daniel, Grandma, Grandad and Me. Oh and Grandma's dog Lucky. Phew! Mom packed us a picnic lunch, which was really good. We sat out on the water front and ate our lunch first, then they went swimming and Matthew and Dad went Kayaking. (They need a spell checker on this thing). Then we went out on the barge again, Lucky had a great time there. I think it was rock climbing next and after that we went to the archery range. Overall I did more things yesterday than any other day I've been up there. However rocking climbing wasn't as fun as it usually is because I did my harness up too tight that friggen hurt.

OH and the funny part... Graham has been teasing Kelly ever since I was up the last time, telling her he's only going to come up and visit the apartment to see me, saying that when I get there hes going to hit on me, saying how much Im hot and how we're gonna go in the back forty for a half hour, etc. I was unaware of this teasing game, and when I was standing by the coffee I had my back to him (bad idea) and I had no idea who it was but they came up behind me and wrapped their arms around my waist. Now I've got my arms raised and Im all confused and going to yell rape jokingly(but I didnt know who it was so I wasnt sure how they would take it), and finally Kelly yell's "Graham!" And I spin around and laugh. The next time this happens is when Kelly and I go to the Hub and theres Graham again, and I can hear him teasing Kelly about me still, no idea what he's saying though, as theyre over sitting on one of the couches. (we have to remember here, that Kelly likes Graham and thinks he is aware of this by now). So I sat on the other couch near theres, not to disturb them, Kelly gets up to get her shoe that she threw at him earlier and he comes and sits beside me. We're talking and joking about how it'll take him about 7 minutes at least and I say we should make it 2 minutes and he says we'd better make it quick then, etc. Kelly's going so red in the face, and he likes to point this out. He's such a little shithead. He gets to sliding his hand on my leg, and Kelly says "okay! time to go Mandy!" We all laugh and leave. But I felt so bad for Kelly. And here I am not sure what the hell to do other than joke about it, cause I didnt know what to say in front of Kel. Haha good times indeed.

Anywhoo, my day yesterday was busy, and I finished my homework today. This even Adam and I are gonna to see Alien vs Predator. Big fun, Matthew and Dad said its really good. But Ive heard from some other people that it isnt like the other movies they've made of Alien, nor of Predator, which I guess is a good thing, cause we dont want them to be too much alike. We want difference people, something that differentiates them from the norm, right?? Right. :D

Similar Minds.com

Freudian Inventory Results

Genital (36%) you appear to have a pessimistic and regressive outlook on life. Latency (63%) you may be using learning as an escape from living. Phallic (56%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Anal (46%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity. Oral (63%) you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Freuds theorized that there are 5 stages of psychological development. At the oral stage the main issue is dependency, at the anal stage the main issue is self control, at the phallic stage the main issue is sexual identity, at the latency stage it's skill development, and at the genital stage its creativity and productivity.

Freud theorized that psychological problems are related to problems during one or more of these stages. For example, being too cared for or too neglected causes someone to be orally fixated, too much or too little control causes someone to be anally fixated, insufficient parental role modeling causes phallic fixation.

An orally fixated person is either irrationally dependent (expects what they want to just appear) or irrationally independent (always refuses help).

An anally fixated person is either irrationally self controlled and servile to authority or has no self control and is compulsively defiant of authority.

A phallicly fixated person is either a sexual compulsive (sexually innappropriate/promiscuous) or sexually repressed.

Freud did not classify any latent fixation but I think it is as plausible as those at the other stages. I speculate that people that like to learn and acquire knowledge without any purpose or people that are compulsively non curious represent both dysfunctional ends of the latency spectrum.

The genital stage is the final Freudian developmental stage and according to Freud people don't all succeed at this. Freud believed the ideal for human happiness is to be happy in love and work, problems in one or the other cause unhappiness.

Like any personality system, Freud's developmental levels are just a theory, so, be speculative about your results.

AP: Israel Cave Linked to John the Baptist

Currently Listening To: Neil Young- Lets Roll

By KARIN LAUB
"KIBBUTZ TZUBA, Israel (AP) - Archaeologists think they've found a cave where John the Baptist baptized many of his followers - basing their theory on thousands of shards from ritual jugs, a stone used for foot cleansing and wall carvings telling the story of the biblical preacher.

Only a few artifacts linked to New Testament figures have ever been found in the Holy Land, and the cave is potentially a major discovery in biblical archaeology.

"John the Baptist, who was just a figure from the Gospels, now comes to life," British archaeologist Shimon Gibson said during an exclusive tour of the cave given to The Associated Press.

But some scholars said Gibson's finds aren't enough to support his theory, and one colleague said that short of an inscription with John's name in the cave, there could never be conclusive proof of his presence there.

John, a distant relative of Jesus - their mothers were kin, according to the Bible - was a fiery preacher with a message of repentance and a considerable following.

Tradition says he was born in the village of Ein Kerem, which today is part of modern Jerusalem. Just 2.5 miles away, on the land of Kibbutz Tzuba, a communal farm, the cave lies hidden in a limestone hill - 24 yards long, four yards deep and four yards wide.

It was carved by the Israelites in the Iron Age, sometime between 800 B.C. and 500 B.C, the scientists said. It apparently was used from the start as a ritual immersion pool, preceding the Jewish tradition of the ritual bath...."

To read the rest, go to: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040816/D84GIE8O0.html .

Hot damn. Do I believe this story? Do I believe that because it isnt by a well known source, in my knowledge anyways, that I should just disregard it? Is it tabloid trash? I dont know. But for now I shall remain skeptical, and pretty darn amazed.

Peace out.

Nicely healed, but smooth as a baby's bottom.

Currently Listening To: Staind- Suffocate

Well, my finger is healed and doesn't hurt anymore. It's so sad that this is my latest news. But anyways, here's a new picture for everyone to see, cause I know you care about me oh so much. :P Oh and the blister is nice and smooth, and no more plastic is left on the finger. Thank god!

Healed goodnes:

Watching The Messenger

While watching the movie I decided to light on fire the plastic off of the movie packaging that I hadn't thrown in the garbage yet. This is the result of trying to save my blanket from catching on fire.

Pointer:








Thumb:


& ring finger:

I think I'm going through changes, changes...

Currently Listening To: 3 Doors down-Changes

Happy Fucking Friday The Thirteenth Everyone!

Hope your Friday goes better than mine. Goddamn day. Woken up early, and then sleeping in too late afterwards. Happy Day everyone!

This is me in my grumpy mood.